Death Race

Death Race – 2008 – United States

Remakes aren’t always bad. The Thing (1981) is better than The Thing from Another World (1951). The Fly (1986) is better than The Fly (1958). I don’t know if Death Race is better than Death Race 2000 (1975), but it’s pretty dang good. As far as I’m concerned, director Paul W. S. Anderson (who also directed Event Horizon and the original Mortal Kombat) can walk on water, but I haven’t looked through his filmography in a while, so don’t try and prove me wrong.

In the dystopian future, the U.S. economy has collapsed. No one has a job, and crime is rampant. Overcrowded prisons are for-profit institutions, and they make money by selling pay-per-view subscriptions to deadly gladiatorial games starring convicts.

Dead Leaves

Dead Leaves – 2004 – Japan

I’m not sure I get the point of Dead Leaves. Basically, two insane criminals with amnesia end up in a prison full of mutants on the Moon. One is named Retro and has a television for a head. The other is a pregnant woman named Pandy. The two lead a bloody prison break and shoot lots of people. There is also a horny dude with an enormous drill for a dick, and some cyborg wardens named 666 and 777. After escaping from the prison, Retro and Pandy kill a giant caterpillar, and it explodes into a bunch of psychedelic-looking fireworks.

Manborg

Manborg – 2011 – United States

Following the Hell Wars, Nazi vampires from Hell (who look like cenobites from Hellraiser) enslave humanity. Manborg is a cyborg gladiator incarcerated by the vampires in a high-tech prison. He teams up with Justice (a wise-cracking Australian), Mina (a blue-haired girl who looks like an anime character), and #1 Man (a martial artist) to destroy Count Draculon and his legions of vampires, mutants, and robots.

Ten Violent Women

Ten Violent Women – 1982 – United States

“In the beginning… there were ten good girls.” So starts Ten Violent Women. As the eight (not ten) women mine gold, a nearly fatal dynamite accident occurs. The pissed-off ladies decide to quit, to which their surly male demolitionist responds, “After three weeks with no pay, I’m getting something!” He tears off a woman’s shirt, and the others beat him down.