Blood Reign: Curse of the Yoma

June 12, 2017 at 12:37 am (6 Heads, Blood Reign) (, , , , )

Blood Reign: Curse of the Yoma – 1989 – Japan

1573 Japan: On a mission for his clan, a young ninja named Hikage tracks his best friend (and fellow ninja) Marou across the countryside. Seemingly possessed, Marou attacked Hikage and now Hikage reluctantly must bring him to justice. But all is not as it seems. Marou is actually the reincarnation of the king of demons. Using his army of undead and yoma (monsters), he perpetuates a bloody conflict between two warlords. Maybe. The film’s plot isn’t very clear.

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Legend of the Blue Wolves

June 12, 2017 at 12:34 am (5 Heads, Legend of the Blue Wolves) (, , , , , , )

Legend of the Blue Wolves – 1996 – Japan

In the year 2199, mankind has colonized the solar system. Using powered armor suits, they wage war against robotic alien invaders called the Apocalypse. Jonathan Tyberius and Leonard Schteinberg are mecha pilots and roommates on a military space station. When Jonathan is raped by his abusive (and morbidly obese) commanding officer, Leonard rescues him and castrates the rapist. Afterward, the two form a close bond which becomes a romance. Eventually, Leonard is sent on a mission and never returns, and Jonathan later encounters him on the battlefield. Leonard’s body has been absorbed into one of the invader’s biomechanical war machines and Jonathan must destroy it.

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Lily C.A.T.

June 4, 2017 at 4:04 am (6 Heads, Lily C.A.T.) (, , , , , , , )

Lily C.A.T. – 1987 – Japan

A crew of thirteen scientists and engineers travel to a distant planet on behalf of some corporation. During the twenty year journey, they are in cryogenic sleep aboard a spaceship. While they rest, an alien bacteria infiltrates the ship. Upon waking, members of the crew die one by one as the infection enters their lungs and asphyxiates them. Soon, the bacteria transforms into a flowing mass of pincers, tentacles, and gaping maws. The body count escalates as the crew desperately searches for a way to destroy it.

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Violence Jack

June 4, 2017 at 3:56 am (1 Head, Violence Jack) (, , , , , , )

Violence Jack – 1986/1988/1990 – Japan

The Violence Jack series comprises three anime movies about the grisly exploits of Violence Jack. Jack is a giant man with giant muttonchops who (to quote the narrator) “arbitrarily dispenses death with the razor edge of a jack knife”. He might be a supernatural servant of Hell, but it’s unclear. Japan has been destroyed by a comet, and Jack wanders the post-apocalyptic wasteland chopping up giant bikers, giant mutants, and other Mad Max-style freaks.

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Golgo 13: The Professional

May 21, 2017 at 6:26 pm (8 Heads, Golgo 13: The Professional) (, , , , , )

Golgo 13: The Professional – 1983 – Japan

Golgo 13 is a legendary hitman with a perfect track record. Leonard Dawson is a Texas oil baron who targets Golgo 13 after he assassinates Dawson’s son. To do the job, Dawson hires the FBI, the CIA, the Pentagon, and some demented assassins named Snake, Gold, and Silver. He wants Golgo 13 dead even if he must “destroy a few cities in the process”. He instructs his assassins, “Rip out [Golgo 13’s] brains and throw them on the floor!” While thwarting these killers, Golgo 13 travels to Sicily, San Francisco, and the Amazon. At various points, he is hired by a priest to kill a Mafia don, and a concentration camp survivor to kill an ex-Nazi. In the end, it is revealed that Dawson’s dead son himself hired Golgo 13 as an act of suicide. Dawson despondently leaps from a window, splattering gorily on the ground.

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How to Make a Doll

May 21, 2017 at 6:18 pm (3 Heads, How to Make a Doll) (, , )

How to Make a Doll – 1968 – United States

Percy Corley is a scientist who is scared of women. He lives with his mother and drives an Isetta (like Steve Urkel from Family Matters). With another scientist named Hamilcar West, he programs a computer (with a punched card reader) to create beautiful subservient girlfriends. With a puff of smoke, nymphomaniac babes in underwear and high heels pop out of the computer and make out with the scientists. Getting tired of that, Hamilcar (somehow) transfers his mind into the computer and (somehow) teaches Percy to be a chick magnet. Percy balls women until he is sick of it and then settles down with a nice girl.

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The Ghost

May 21, 2017 at 6:07 pm (6 Heads, Ghost, The) (, , , )

The Ghost – 1963 – Italy

Scotland, 1910: In a Gothic mansion, a doctor (Dr. John Hichcock) researches a treatment for his own crippling injuries. His questionable cure involves injecting himself with a cocktail of lethal poisons. He is depressed and suicidal, and constantly seeks pity from his assistant (Dr. Charles Livingstone) and his wife (Margaret Hichcock). When Margaret stops him from committing suicide, he says “Let me do it. I’m just a living corpse.” Eventually, Margaret and Charles hook up. Margaret nags her lover to kill her pathetic husband, so Charles gives the old man an extra helping of poison.

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Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust

April 30, 2017 at 10:19 pm (9 Heads, Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust – 2000 – Japan/United States

In the post-apocalyptic future, humans are hunted by vampires, werewolves, and mutants. In a frontier village, a vampire count kidnaps the mayor’s daughter. To rescue her, the mayor hires D, a half-vampire bounty hunter. D pursues the count across the country, followed by some tank-driving cyborg mercenaries known as the Marcus Brothers. The count intends to flee Earth in a spaceship, but D apprehends him. To D’s surprise, the mayor’s daughter is the count’s willing bride. Considering his melancholic life as a half-vampire outcast, D cannot accept the lovers’ relationship. A bloody duel ensues.

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Burning Dead

April 30, 2017 at 10:15 pm (5 Heads, Burning Dead) (, , )

Burning Dead – 2004 – United States

Jim returns to his hometown fifteen years after its destruction in a catastrophic fire. Although his memories are hazy, since that day, Jim has been haunted by horrific dreams. He is so disturbed that he can’t hold a job, meet a girlfriend, or stay in one place. To confront his fears, Jim drifts about his hometown, visiting people and places he once knew. His memory of the traumatic night slowly returns, and he suffers hallucinations of walking incinerated corpses. It turns out, as a boy, Jim was apprenticed to a Satanic priest. When the priest ordered Jim to sacrifice his sweetheart, Jim refused and lit the priest on fire, leading (improbably) to the town’s fiery destruction. Now, to put the burning dead to rest, Jim confronts his dark past and reunites with his lost sweetheart.

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Blood Cult

April 30, 2017 at 10:07 pm (4 Heads, Blood Cult) (, , , )

Blood Cult – 1985 – United States

Four sorority girls are eviscerated by a cleaver-wielding murderer. The investigating sheriff links the murders to a witchcraft cult, then discovers the killer cultist is his own daughter. Wearing a severed dog’s head as mask, she kills her boyfriend and then leaps off a building. Sorry if this plot summary is vague. The DVD I watched had no sound for the last 30 minutes so I had to make a few things up.

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