How to Make a Doll

May 21, 2017 at 6:18 pm (3 Heads, How to Make a Doll) (, , )

How to Make a Doll – 1968 – United States

Percy Corley is a scientist who is scared of women. He lives with his mother and drives an Isetta (like Steve Urkel from Family Matters). With another scientist named Hamilcar West, he programs a computer (with a punched card reader) to create beautiful subservient girlfriends. With a puff of smoke, nymphomaniac babes in underwear and high heels pop out of the computer and make out with the scientists. Getting tired of that, Hamilcar (somehow) transfers his mind into the computer and (somehow) teaches Percy to be a chick magnet. Percy balls women until he is sick of it and then settles down with a nice girl.

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The Ghost

May 21, 2017 at 6:07 pm (6 Heads, Ghost, The) (, , , )

The Ghost – 1963 – Italy

Scotland, 1910: In a Gothic mansion, a doctor (Dr. John Hichcock) researches a treatment for his own crippling injuries. His questionable cure involves injecting himself with a cocktail of lethal poisons. He is depressed and suicidal, and constantly seeks pity from his assistant (Dr. Charles Livingstone) and his wife (Margaret Hichcock). When Margaret stops him from committing suicide, he says “Let me do it. I’m just a living corpse.” Eventually, Margaret and Charles hook up. Margaret nags her lover to kill her pathetic husband, so Charles gives the old man an extra helping of poison.

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Horrors of Malformed Men

April 30, 2017 at 10:13 pm (9 Heads) (, , , , , )

Horrors of Malformed Men – 1969 – Japan

An amnesiac surgeon named Hirosuke is locked in a Tokyo insane asylum. After killing another inmate (a deranged monk) in self-defense, he escapes. Outside, Hirosuke encounters a circus magician with a mysterious connection to his forgotten past, but the magician gets murdered and Hirosuke is framed for it. Fleeing Tokyo, he reaches a seaside town where a wealthy local businessman named Genzaburo has just died. Hirosuke discovers that he is the dead man’s doppelganger, even down to the swastika scar on the bottom of his foot. Hirosuke impersonates Genzaburo, surprising everyone with his sudden resurrection. As he grows ensnared in Genzaburo’s life, he discovers that he is actually Genzaburo’s lost brother. He also learns of a mysterious island where his father lives in isolation. Hirosuke is forbidden by his family to go there, but goes anyway.

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The Spy Who Came

January 23, 2017 at 1:16 am (2 Heads, The Spy Who Came) (, , , )

The Spy Who Came – 1969 – United States

An unsavory Arab brainwashes women into sex slaves and uses them to blackmail dignitaries. A detective named Harry is blackmailed into helping the slavers, but he is actually a double agent. Teaming up with a French spy, he infiltrates and destroys the slavery ring.

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Electronic Lover

December 12, 2016 at 1:58 am (3 Heads, Electronic Lover) (, , )

Electronic Lover – 1966 – United States

A man named Master lives in a room with a mainframe computer. The room has curtains for walls, so it might be a tent. He gives his mute servant (named Brother) a portable camera and orders him to spy on women. Brother takes the camera around the city and records women undressing, taking showers, and having sex. Master watches the camera’s wireless feed. Dripping sweat and never blinking, he raves about beautiful women and verbally abuses Brother. Occasionally, he takes breaks to ruminate about love, have vivid sexual hallucinations, make out with his reflection in a mirror, and practice archery. After watching some people frolic naked through the woods, Master sobs and calls for his mother. Then he stabs himself to death with an arrow.

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Sins of the Fleshapoids

November 29, 2016 at 3:50 am (7 Heads, Sins of the Fleshapoids) (, , , , , )

Sins of the Fleshapoids – 1966 – United States

A million years in the future, Earth is an Eden-like utopia. There is enough of everything for everyone, and people do nothing but eat and frolic around naked. All labor is done by android slaves called Fleshapoids. When two Fleshapoids gain sapience, they kill their human masters, fall in love, and bear a robot child.

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Invasion of the Neptune Men

November 22, 2016 at 1:42 am (6 Heads, Invasion of the Neptune Men) (, , , , , )

Invasion of the Neptune Men – 1961 – Japan

Aliens from Neptune invade Earth. With their advanced technology, they control the weather, impersonate humans, disintegrate people, demolish buildings, and make clocks run backward. To defend the world, Japanese scientists build an energy barrier and special missiles. With help from an alien superhero named Space Chief, they repel the Neptune Men.

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Manos: The Hands of Fate

October 16, 2016 at 11:51 pm (1 Head, Manos: The Hands of Fate) (, , )

Manos: The Hands of Fate – 1966 – United States

A family gets lost in the Texas desert. After a pointless ten minute driving scene, they reach a ranch. Michael, the man of the family, knocks on the door to ask for help. He meets the satyr-like Torgo who famously claims, “I take care of the house while the Master is away.” Michael insists that he and his family stay the night, even though every other character in the film is against it. Living in the house is a pagan cult. The Master and his many wives conduct rituals to Manos, the “god of primal darkness”. During the night, the family dog is killed by a bigger dog and Michael’s wife is sexually harassed by Torgo. Meanwhile, the Master abuses Torgo (because he grovels pathetically), and the Master’s wives have a big catfight. Eventually, Torgo is massaged (?) to death, Michael’s daughter and wife are married to the Master, and Michael is the Master’s brainwashed slave.

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Yokai Monsters: Spook Warfare

September 19, 2016 at 3:31 am (7 Heads, Yokai Monsters: Spook Warfare) (, , , )

Yokai Monsters: Spook Warfare – 1968 – Japan

In medieval times, treasure hunters explore the Babylonian ruins of Ur and awaken a bird-like vampire monster. The vampire (named Daimon) flies to Japan and possesses the magistrate of a town. He commits various atrocities such as drinking blood, acting rude, kidnapping children, and killing a dog. A young samurai teams up with a Buddhist monk and some friendly monsters from Japanese folklore. They defeat Daimon by stabbing out his eyes.

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The Blancheville Monster

September 19, 2016 at 3:27 am (4 Heads, Blancheville Monster) (, , , )

The Blancheville Monster – 1963 – Italy/Spain

France 1884: After attending college in England, a young woman returns to her ancestral castle. Since her father recently died (under mysterious circumstances) and her favorite servants have left, the castle is now a foreboding place. Furthermore, she learns of a family prophecy indicating that her family will die if a girl child ever reaches the age of 21. Predictably, the young woman’s 21st birthday is in 5 days. Also predictably, her father is not really dead. Disfigured and insane, he stalks the castle, trying to prevent the prophecy by killing his daughter with the power of hypnosis.

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