Murder in the Red Barn

November 13, 2017 at 2:58 am (7 Heads, Murder in the Red Barn) (, , , )

Murder in the Red Barn – 1935 – England

Murder in the Red Barn is based on a real murder committed in England in 1827. A man named Squire is the conniving, degenerate magistrate of a small village. He seduces a young woman named Maria and promises to marry her but never does. To pay his excessive gambling debts, he marries a rich widow instead. When Maria discovers she is pregnant, she threatens Squire, promising to reveal their sordid affair. In response, Squire takes her to the titular “red barn”, shoots her, and buries her corpse in the floor. The racist villagers blame a young gypsy named Carlos and organize a manhunt for him. Squire and his gambling buddies lead the mob, wagering on who will fire the killing shot. They find Carlos and chase him to the red barn. As he is about to be killed, one of the hunting hounds digs at the floor. He uncovers Maria’s body along with the murder weapon: Squire’s monogrammed pistol. On the day of Squire’s execution, the hangman calls in sick. Carlos volunteers to take his place.

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Hawk the Slayer

April 17, 2017 at 1:48 am (6 Heads, Hawk the Slayer) (, , , )

Hawk the Slayer – 1980 – England

A noble swordsman named Hawk battles his deformed brother Voltan to save a kidnapped priestess. Hawk wields the “mindsword” which he controls telekentically. It has a glowing fist for a pommel. He teams up with a giant, an elf, a blind witch, a guy with a semi-automatic crossbow, and a conniving dwarf. Impressively, the dwarf fishes by slapping fish out of a lake with his whip. In the climactic showdown, Voltan is killed but is resurrected by an evil ghost. A sequel is suggested but hasn’t materialized.

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Horror Express

February 18, 2017 at 11:52 pm (7 Heads, Horror Express) (, , , , , , )

Horror Express – 1972 – England/Spain

In the year 1906, an English anthropologist finds the “missing link” in a Manchurian cave. He is traveling with the specimen on the Trans-Siberian Express when the creature comes to life and prowls the train. Whoever meets its glowing red gaze dies suddenly. Their eyes turn white and (an autopsy reveals) their brains become completely smooth. It turns out that the creature is actually inhabited by an alien parasite made of pure energy. The alien steals people’s memories in hopes of gaining the scientific know-how to get home.

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Crimes at the Dark House

October 23, 2016 at 12:26 am (8 Heads, Crimes at the Dark House) (, , , )

Crimes at the Dark House – 1940 – England

The year 1850: A gold prospector in Australia murders another prospector and assumes his identity. Masquerading as Sir Percival Glyde, the imposter returns to London and inherits Glyde’s mansion and estate. He also inherits a mountain of debt and an illegitimate child with a homicidal hatred of him. To maintain his false identity and lifestyle of debauchery, the imposter perpetrates further crimes. For a film of its age, Crimes at the Dark House has a remarkable amount of mayhem as the imposter commits fraud, extortion, rape, and murder, not to mention lots of petty cruelty.

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The Golden Voyage of Sinbad

July 17, 2016 at 8:45 pm (9 Heads, Golden Voyage of Sinbad) (, , , , , , )

The Golden Voyage of Sinbad – 1973 – England

Sinbad and the Grand Vizier of Marabia unite on an adventure to find the Fountain of Destiny on the lost continent of Lemuria. They race for the fountain against the evil magician Prince Koura. The powers of this wondrous fountain are a little unclear, but Koura somehow intends to use it conquer Marabia. In route to the fountain, Sinbad sails treacherous waters, battles fantastic creatures, and solves ancient riddles.

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The Summer of the Massacre

June 5, 2016 at 2:58 am (1 Head, Summer of the Massacre) (, , , )

The Summer of the Massacre – 2004 – England

“Based on real factual occurrences involving a malevolent monster called Hammer Head, whose form of life was cannibalism?” So says the grammatically confused prologue for The Summer of the Massacre. The prologue also describes four “very young teenagers” who are actually college students, one of whom is pregnant. The four drive through the countryside until their “shaggin’ wagon” breaks down. A psycho in a shirt and tie and a Halloween mask stalks them and kills them with a hammer (the small kind—not a sledgehammer). He ties someone to a tree with cellophane. He may or may not be a cannibal.

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Horror of Dracula

April 1, 2016 at 1:22 am (9 Heads, Horror of Dracula) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Horror of Dracula – 1958 – England

Horror of Dracula (known as Dracula outside of the United States) is the third filmic adaptation of Bram Stoker’s novel Dracula (1897). It is preceded by Universal Pictures’ Dracula (1931) and Nosferatu (1922), although Nosferatu was an unofficial adaptation which resulted in a lawsuit. Horror of Dracula was produced by Hammer Film Productions and features many Hammer regulars such as actors Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, director Terence Fisher, and writer Jimmy Sangster.

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Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie

May 31, 2015 at 8:46 pm (5 Heads, Ultramarines) (, , , , )

Ultramarines: A Warahmmer 40,000 Movie – 2010 – England

“In the grim darkness of the far future, there is only war.” So begins Ultramarines: A Warhammer 40,000 Movie. A spacefaring squad of religiously fanatical super soldiers (called Space Marines) lands on a forlorn planet to investigate a distress beacon. The beacon transmits from a castle-like shrine infested with sadistic Chaos Space Marines (evil Space Marines) and demons. With impossibly huge guns, swords, and armor, the Space Marines kill the hell out of their foes.

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Blood Beast Terror

October 20, 2014 at 12:11 am (7 Heads, Blood Beast Terror) (, , , , , )

Blood Beast Terror – 1968 – England

An entomologist breeds a humanoid moth that drinks blood and transforms into a beautiful woman. The moth-woman murders people as a police inspector investigates.

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The Large Rope

August 24, 2014 at 10:07 pm (5 Heads, Large Rope) (, , )

The Large Rope – 1953 – England

A man is falsely accused of assaulting a woman and sent to jail. Following his sentence, he returns to his village where his friends, his family, and the townies ostracize him. The same day, the woman he supposedly assaulted is strangled and he is accused again. To clear his name and solve the murder, the man dredges up the circumstances of his first false arrest.

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