Wishbone

May 7, 2018 at 12:16 am (3 Heads, Wishbone) (, )

Wishbone – 2000 – United States

Laurie is given an antique “wishbone” as a graduation present. What is a wishbone? It’s a magical statue made of orange plastic and covered with miniature skulls. If a person holds the wishbone and makes a wish, the wish comes true but a random person dies. After Laurie’s friends make a bunch of wishes, men in black hoods drive hearses into town and start stabbing people. Laurie defeats these demonic interlopers by wishing them out of existence. It’s that easy.

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Marebito

May 7, 2018 at 12:07 am (7 Heads, Marebito) (, , , , )

Marebito – 2004 – Japan

Masuoka is a freelance news cameraman in Tokyo. He records a man stabbing his own eye out in a subway station, and obsessively watches the video. Masuoka believes the stabber is being tormented by a supernatural entity. In search of this being, he explores the complex of subway tunnels and crawlspaces beneath Tokyo. As he descends deeper, Masuoka discovers a cavern full of ancient stone ruins inhabited by a feral teenage girl. He takes her back to his apartment and names her F.

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Puppet Master: The Legacy

March 14, 2018 at 12:48 am (2 Heads, Puppet Master: The Legacy) (, , , , , , )

Puppet Master: The Legacy – 2003 – United States

Puppet Master: The Legacy (a.k.a. Puppet Master 8) is an especially uninspired and lazy entry in the Puppet Master series. A hitman (presumably employed by some shadowy government agency) is seeking Andre Toulon’s secret formula for immortality. She follows clues to the Bodega Bay Inn, the site of several other Puppet Master movies. There she meets and violently interrogates a man named Peter—the new controller of Toulon’s killer puppets. Peter is the same Peter who appeared as young boy in Puppet Master 3: Toulon’s Revenge, but is now an old man. The hitman and Peter debate the morality of Toulon’s actions. Illustrating their pointless dialogue are extended clips from all the other Puppet Master movies (aside from the original Puppet Master, strangely enough). In the end, Peter and the puppets kill the hitman, then the puppets turn on Peter. Maybe. It’s not really clear.

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I Hate You

February 7, 2018 at 12:54 am (5 Heads, I Hate You) (, , )

I Hate You – 2004 – United States

Norman is a struggling New York comedian who makes jokes about killing people. In one bit, he says, “Every creature on this planet must kill something else to survive.” Following that, he lists the thousands of animals he has eaten in his lifetime. In another bit, he says, “More books have been written about Jack the Ripper than all of the U.S. presidents combined.” Norman starts to realize that he could be more famous as a serial killer than as a comedian. He begins killing random people, mostly by beating them with a cane. To justify his murders, he says, “Every society needs an enemy.” He continues his morbid comedy act, but no one thinks it’s funny, and Norman is fired from the nightclub where he performs. Later, he has a heart attack but survives. Then the movie abruptly ends without any real resolution.

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Vaastu Shastra

December 7, 2017 at 1:09 am (4 Heads, Vaastu Shastra) (, , , )

Vaastu Shastra – 2004 – India

A young family moves into a new house. The beautiful modern mansion is their “dream home” at a “dream price”. They should have known that any house selling for way below market value is certainly haunted. Upon moving in, Rohan (a toddler) begins talking to imaginary friends. He develops an obsession with a dead banyan tree in the yard, which looks like a gnarly skeletal hand and is definitely evil. Rohan’s family assumes he is just having trouble adjusting. His nanny and aunt die mysteriously before anyone takes him seriously. Eventually, the ghosts kill everyone but Rohan and his mom. Trying to flee the specters, Mom wrecks her car into the evil tree. The car and tree explode in a massive fireball. With the tree obliterated, the ghosts are consumed by magical fire.

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Goth

December 7, 2017 at 1:02 am (5 Heads, Goth) (, , , )

Goth – 2003 – United States

In Goth’s opening scene, a young woman named Crissy wakes up amid the remains of a frat party. She is covered in blood and everyone is dead. The rest of the movie is a flashback. Crissy and her boyfriend Boone go to a metal concert at a goth nightclub. There they meet a woman named Gothe (pronounced “goth”) who offers them a drug called “white light”. Gothe is scantily dressed, covered in tattoos, and possibly deranged. Crissy and Boone take the drug, which is supposed to induce a near death experience. They awake in the back of Gothe’s van surrounded by candles, concert posters, and plastic skulls.

Driven by an unseen driver, Crissy and Boone ride around the city with Gothe in her van. Boone wants to leave, but Crissy insists on staying. Meanwhile, Gothe imbibes massive quantities of booze and drugs. She rants about the three rules of being goth. “One: Embrace the darkness. Two: Kill your fear. Three: Live for death.” It soon becomes apparent that she is totally insane and Crissy and Boone are her hostages.

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Dirt Boy

October 28, 2017 at 8:55 pm (6 Heads, Dirt Boy) (, )

Dirt Boy – 2001 – United States

Dirt Boy is the movie’s title, but it’s also the title of a novel within the movie.

Atwater Commons is a Cape Cod town named after Atwater Bridges. Bridges is the beloved author of the bestselling novel “Dirt Boy” about a serial killer who brutalizes people with a garden rake. Matthew “Matty” Matthews is a forensic psychology student visiting Atwater Commons. He explores the town while listening to an audio book of “Dirt Boy”. One day, in a seemingly hypnotic trance, he visits a murder site described in the novel. After uncovering a corpse, he begins to suspect the novel is real. Matty reports his find to the police who behave with cryptic animosity. Possessed by curiosity, he explores more and uncovers more bodies. The people of Atwater Commons respond to his snooping with paranoia and hostility. They spy on Matty, vandalize his car, and broadcast threats (disguised as gardening advice) on the town radio station. As Matty delves deeper into the secrets of Atwater Commons, he uncovers the idyllic town’s dark history. In doing so, he is also forced to confront his own past as a heroin addict.

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Up For Rent

October 28, 2017 at 8:54 pm (3 Heads, Up For Rent) (, , )

Up For Rent – 2006 – United States

Up for Rent is a horror anthology about an evil apartment. As the realtor shows the apartment to a couple, she has flashbacks about its previous tenants who have all been serial killers, necrophiliacs, spouse abusers, alcoholics, and other sorts of degenerates.

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The Crate

September 25, 2017 at 12:00 am (3 Heads, Crate, The) (, )

The Crate – 2007 – United States

While fishing, some yokels reel in a wooden crate from 1775. When they open it, a horned demon materializes and attacks. Some of the yokels survive. One is the town’s mayor who covers up the incident to prevent mass hysteria. When the killings continue in a local park, two police detectives, some young people, and a news anchorman investigate. The result is a bloodbath as the demon rends people with its claws, controls people’s minds, and yanks out their still-beating hearts. Eventually, after being shot numerous times, the demon is killed by a blow from a gardening hoe. Go figure.

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Tekkonkinkreet

September 24, 2017 at 11:42 pm (8 Heads, Tekkonkinkreet) (, , , , , , , )

Tekkonkinkreet – 2006 – Japan

Treasure Town is a lawless Japanese city that resembles an antique shop mixed with a decaying theme park. Black and White are preteen hoodlums living on Treasure Town’s mean streets. They hang out on top of buildings, rumble with outlandishly dressed gangs, and try to grow an apple tree. A sadistic Yakuza boss wants to open a children’s amusement park in Treasure Town. To clean up the city, he must eliminate the infamous Black and White. After White is nearly killed by Yakuza assassins, he is moved into a government orphanage and the duo is separated. Grief-stricken, Black goes on a homicidal rampage. Can White save his friend’s distressed soul?

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