The Crate

September 25, 2017 at 12:00 am (3 Heads, Crate, The) (, )

The Crate – 2007 – United States

While fishing, some yokels reel in a wooden crate from 1775. When they open it, a horned demon materializes and attacks. Some of the yokels survive. One is the town’s mayor who covers up the incident to prevent mass hysteria. When the killings continue in a local park, two police detectives, some young people, and a news anchorman investigate. The result is a bloodbath as the demon rends people with its claws, controls people’s minds, and yanks out their still-beating hearts. Eventually, after being shot numerous times, the demon is killed by a blow from a gardening hoe. Go figure.

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Tekkonkinkreet

September 24, 2017 at 11:42 pm (8 Heads, Tekkonkinkreet) (, , , , , , , )

Tekkonkinkreet – 2006 – Japan

Treasure Town is a lawless Japanese city that resembles an antique shop mixed with a decaying theme park. Black and White are preteen hoodlums living on Treasure Town’s mean streets. They hang out on top of buildings, rumble with outlandishly dressed gangs, and try to grow an apple tree. A sadistic Yakuza boss wants to open a children’s amusement park in Treasure Town. To clean up the city, he must eliminate the infamous Black and White. After White is nearly killed by Yakuza assassins, he is moved into a government orphanage and the duo is separated. Grief-stricken, Black goes on a homicidal rampage. Can White save his friend’s distressed soul?

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Zombie Bloodbath 3: Zombie Armageddon

September 4, 2017 at 11:21 pm (4 Heads, Zombie Bloodbath 3) (, , , , )

Zombie Bloodbath 3: Zombie Armageddon – 2000 – United States

In the future, the U.S. military creates an army of zombies to stop some alien invaders. When the war is over, the military can’t kill the zombies so they cram them on a shuttle and fire them into space. The shuttle gets sucked into a black hole and time travels to present day. Somehow, it ends up in the basement of a high school. The zombies break out and a group of students get trapped in the school. With the help of two martial artists, they fight off the zombie horde plus a cyborg that looks like a professional wrestler. Almost everyone dies.

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Dead Body Man

July 31, 2017 at 12:33 am (1 Head, Dead Body Man) (, , )

Dead Body Man – 2004 – United States

In the first ten minutes of Dead Body Man, a man pretends to be mentally handicapped and picks up a prostitute. Back at his place, he beats her with a hammer and has sex with her. Then he shoots her, butchers her body while wacky accordion music plays, and sells the meat to a cannibal. The cannibal complains about the meat and says, “Go to a school and get some little girls.” Dead Body Man continues in this vein for ninety more minutes. Each scene struggles to reach a higher level of bad taste but never does.

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Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust

April 30, 2017 at 10:19 pm (9 Heads, Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust – 2000 – Japan/United States

In the post-apocalyptic future, humans are hunted by vampires, werewolves, and mutants. In a frontier village, a vampire count kidnaps the mayor’s daughter. To rescue her, the mayor hires D, a half-vampire bounty hunter. D pursues the count across the country, followed by some tank-driving cyborg mercenaries known as the Marcus Brothers. The count intends to flee Earth in a spaceship, but D apprehends him. To D’s surprise, the mayor’s daughter is the count’s willing bride. Considering his melancholic life as a half-vampire outcast, D cannot accept the lovers’ relationship. A bloody duel ensues.

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Burning Dead

April 30, 2017 at 10:15 pm (5 Heads, Burning Dead) (, , )

Burning Dead – 2004 – United States

Jim returns to his hometown fifteen years after its destruction in a catastrophic fire. Although his memories are hazy, since that day, Jim has been haunted by horrific dreams. He is so disturbed that he can’t hold a job, meet a girlfriend, or stay in one place. To confront his fears, Jim drifts about his hometown, visiting people and places he once knew. His memory of the traumatic night slowly returns, and he suffers hallucinations of walking incinerated corpses. It turns out, as a boy, Jim was apprenticed to a Satanic priest. When the priest ordered Jim to sacrifice his sweetheart, Jim refused and lit the priest on fire, leading (improbably) to the town’s fiery destruction. Now, to put the burning dead to rest, Jim confronts his dark past and reunites with his lost sweetheart.

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Before I Die

April 17, 2017 at 1:46 am (4 Heads, Before I Die) (, , , )

Before I Die – 2003 – United States

Before I Die
is a horror anthology movie about a horror writer (with an interesting regional accent) who is writing a short story collection. One story is about a nymphomaniac who transforms into a humanoid spider and devours her sex partners. Approaching her victims, she licks her lips salaciously and says, “I love men. Yummy!” Another story is about some newlyweds at a haunted resort. Mostly they have sex in various swimming pools, but a ghost eventually appears. The last story is about a woman being killed by an asylum escapee. The movie ends with the writer becoming so entranced with his own horror fantasies that he inadvertently murders his wife.

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Dead 7

March 21, 2017 at 2:02 am (2 Heads, Dead 7) (, , , )

Dead 7 – 2000 – United States

Two meth dealers murder a deaf homeless kid by shoving him down a mineshaft. He rises as a zombie and kills the dealers and their girlfriends. Also involved is a corrupt cop (played by the director) and the homeless kid’s demented sister named Venus Equinox.

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Hollywood Vampyr

March 9, 2017 at 1:39 am (4 Heads, Hollywood Vampyr) (, )

Hollywood Vampyr – 2002- United States

Hollywood Vampyr is set in the Los Angeles goth scene. The story details a power struggle between two “coven” leaders called Anubus (not Anubis) and Blood. They open competing goth nightclubs, but their rivalry isn’t about business. Anubus strives to create an inclusive goth scene, celebrating the individuality of its members. Meanwhile, Blood’s morbid philosophy and violent attitude isolates the goths from the outside world and leads to the suicide of two young women. Caught in the middle of the conflict is Fatal (a pregnant woman) and Tom (who just discovered he is gay).

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Invitation

March 9, 2017 at 1:32 am (4 Heads, Invitation) (, , , )

Invitation – 2003 – United States

Some kids are playing sandlot baseball. During the game, a dorky fat kid runs into the street and is killed by a truck. Years later, the other kids become adults and are invited to a mysterious reunion. They spend the weekend at a spooky inn run by a sinister caretaker. The inn is haunted by ghostly children. The guests drink beer, roast marshmallows, and swap childhood anecdotes. One by one, they are tormented and murdered by the ghosts. After everyone dies, it is revealed that the ghost of the dorky fat kid did it all for revenge.

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