Blood Reign: Curse of the Yoma

June 12, 2017 at 12:37 am (6 Heads, Blood Reign) (, , , , )

Blood Reign: Curse of the Yoma – 1989 – Japan

1573 Japan: On a mission for his clan, a young ninja named Hikage tracks his best friend (and fellow ninja) Marou across the countryside. Seemingly possessed, Marou attacked Hikage and now Hikage reluctantly must bring him to justice. But all is not as it seems. Marou is actually the reincarnation of the king of demons. Using his army of undead and yoma (monsters), he perpetuates a bloody conflict between two warlords. Maybe. The film’s plot isn’t very clear.

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Lily C.A.T.

June 4, 2017 at 4:04 am (6 Heads, Lily C.A.T.) (, , , , , , , )

Lily C.A.T. – 1987 – Japan

A crew of thirteen scientists and engineers travel to a distant planet on behalf of some corporation. During the twenty year journey, they are in cryogenic sleep aboard a spaceship. While they rest, an alien bacteria infiltrates the ship. Upon waking, members of the crew die one by one as the infection enters their lungs and asphyxiates them. Soon, the bacteria transforms into a flowing mass of pincers, tentacles, and gaping maws. The body count escalates as the crew desperately searches for a way to destroy it.

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Violence Jack

June 4, 2017 at 3:56 am (1 Head, Violence Jack) (, , , , , , )

Violence Jack – 1986/1988/1990 – Japan

The Violence Jack series comprises three anime movies about the grisly exploits of Violence Jack. Jack is a giant man with giant muttonchops who (to quote the narrator) “arbitrarily dispenses death with the razor edge of a jack knife”. He might be a supernatural servant of Hell, but it’s unclear. Japan has been destroyed by a comet, and Jack wanders the post-apocalyptic wasteland chopping up giant bikers, giant mutants, and other Mad Max-style freaks.

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Golgo 13: The Professional

May 21, 2017 at 6:26 pm (8 Heads, Golgo 13: The Professional) (, , , , , )

Golgo 13: The Professional – 1983 – Japan

Golgo 13 is a legendary hitman with a perfect track record. Leonard Dawson is a Texas oil baron who targets Golgo 13 after he assassinates Dawson’s son. To do the job, Dawson hires the FBI, the CIA, the Pentagon, and some demented assassins named Snake, Gold, and Silver. He wants Golgo 13 dead even if he must “destroy a few cities in the process”. He instructs his assassins, “Rip out [Golgo 13’s] brains and throw them on the floor!” While thwarting these killers, Golgo 13 travels to Sicily, San Francisco, and the Amazon. At various points, he is hired by a priest to kill a Mafia don, and a concentration camp survivor to kill an ex-Nazi. In the end, it is revealed that Dawson’s dead son himself hired Golgo 13 as an act of suicide. Dawson despondently leaps from a window, splattering gorily on the ground.

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Blood Cult

April 30, 2017 at 10:07 pm (4 Heads, Blood Cult) (, , , )

Blood Cult – 1985 – United States

Four sorority girls are eviscerated by a cleaver-wielding murderer. The investigating sheriff links the murders to a witchcraft cult, then discovers the killer cultist is his own daughter. Wearing a severed dog’s head as mask, she kills her boyfriend and then leaps off a building. Sorry if this plot summary is vague. The DVD I watched had no sound for the last 30 minutes so I had to make a few things up.

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Hawk the Slayer

April 17, 2017 at 1:48 am (6 Heads, Hawk the Slayer) (, , , )

Hawk the Slayer – 1980 – England

A noble swordsman named Hawk battles his deformed brother Voltan to save a kidnapped priestess. Hawk wields the “mindsword” which he controls telekentically. It has a glowing fist for a pommel. He teams up with a giant, an elf, a blind witch, a guy with a semi-automatic crossbow, and a conniving dwarf. Impressively, the dwarf fishes by slapping fish out of a lake with his whip. In the climactic showdown, Voltan is killed but is resurrected by an evil ghost. A sequel is suggested but hasn’t materialized.

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The Beastmaster

March 21, 2017 at 2:06 am (9 Heads, Beastmaster) (, , , )

The Beastmaster – 1982 – United States

In a sorcerous ritual, a human baby named Dar is birthed from the womb of a cow. He grows into a young warrior with a telepathic connection to animals. After barbarian raiders destroy his village, he sets out for revenge. Along the way, he befriends a falcon, a black tiger, and two super-cute ferrets called Kodo and Podo. With his sword, collapsible boomerang, and animal menagerie, he frees a city enslaved by an evil priest and finds true love.

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Fire and Ice

December 12, 2016 at 1:49 am (6 Heads, Fire and Ice) (, , , , , , , )

Fire and Ice – 1983 – United States

The king of a glacier-castle and the king of a volcano-castle are at war. When his girlfriend is kidnapped, a barbarian invades the glacier-castle and defeats an evil sorcerer to rescue her.

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Five Elements Ninjas

November 29, 2016 at 4:03 am (7 Heads, Five Element Ninja) (, , , , , )

Five Elements Ninjas – 1982 – Hong Kong

A Chinese martial arts school is destroyed by Japanese ninjas. The lone survivor of the massacre learns ninjutsu and abandons his honor to get revenge. That is the whole plot.

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The Ark of the Sun God

November 29, 2016 at 3:55 am (6 Heads, Ark of the Sun God) (, , , )

The Ark of the Sun God – 1984 – Italy

Rick Spears is a professional burglar. While traveling in Turkey, he is hired to break into the lost Temple of Gilgamesh and retrieve Gilgamesh’s legendary scepter. Also competing for this prize is a Turkish prince and a mysterious cult.

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