The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy

February 14, 2018 at 2:46 am (3 Heads, Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy) (, , , , , )

The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy – 1958 – Mexico

The Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy is a sequel to The Aztec Mummy (1957) and Curse of the Aztec Mummy (1957). It features the same actors and characters, and includes an extensive flashback of footage from its prequels. Robot vs. The Aztec Mummy is set five years after Curse of the Aztec Mummy. The Bat, a super scientist and super criminal, still needs money for his animal/human vivisection experiments. His plan, like usual, is to steal the Aztec Mummy’s priceless breastplate. To defeat the invulnerable undead monster, The Bat creates robot with a human head. The robot can shoot atomic rays, but has to move really slowly because it has no knees. Watching the Aztec Mummy smash the pathetic robot to pieces is a delight. Dr. Eduardo Almada, the heroic scientist from the other Aztec Mummy films, appears but doesn’t do much other than talk.

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Puppet Master 3: Toulon’s Revenge

February 14, 2018 at 2:42 am (7 Heads, Puppet Master 3) (, , , , , , , , )

Puppet Master 3: Toulon’s Revenge – 1991 – United States

Andre Toulon is a puppet maker in Berlin during War World II. Using a mystical Egyptian serum, he can bring his puppets to life. After Toulon mocks Hitler in one of his puppet shows, Gestapo agents harass him and kill his wife. Toulon escapes and plots revenge. He uses his puppets as miniature assassins. They eliminate Gestapo agents and Nazi soldiers with tiny guns, knives, and fists. When the Gestapo discovers the secret of the puppets, they put a bounty on Toulon’s head and begin a citywide manhunt. In a dramatic twist, Toulon is betrayed by a fellow fugitive and narrowly escapes capture. Eventually, Toulon and his puppets trap the Gestapo agent who is pursuing them. In a bloody ritual, they pierce his flesh with hooks and string him up like a human-sized puppet.

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Puppet Master 2

February 14, 2018 at 2:39 am (5 Heads) (, , , , , )

Puppet Master 2 – 1990 – United States

Four ghost hunters from the “U.S. Office of Paranormal Claims” team up with a celebrity psychic to investigate a haunted hotel. The hotel, located on the California coast, is none other than the Bodega Bay Inn, site of the horrific murders depicted in Puppet Master (1989). Evil puppet maker Andre Toulon is buried in the hotel’s private cemetery and his killer puppets live inside the hotel’s walls.

Toulon’s puppets dig up his grave and resurrect him with a gooey alchemical concoction. To conceal his rotting undead body, Toulon wraps himself in bandages until he resembles the Invisible Man. As the ghost hunters investigate the hotel, Toulon commands his puppets to commit murders and collect human body parts. These parts are for a magic ritual to make Toulon’s immortality permanent, or something. This part of the plot isn’t well explained. The ritual is completed and Toulon’s soul enters a life-sized wooden puppet carved to resemble Toulon himself. This puppet looks like a freaky manikin and is very creepy and uncanny. Toulon’s puppets are somehow offended by this, and they turn on their master and kill him.

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Puppet Master

February 14, 2018 at 2:30 am (8 Heads, Puppet Master) (, , , , , , )

Puppet Master – 1989 – United States

Andre Toulon is a German puppet maker living during World War II. He discovers an ancient Egyptian spell to bring his puppets to life. Hunted by Nazi spies, he flees Germany to California, taking residence in a coastal hotel called the Bodega Bay Inn. As the spies close in on him, Toulon commits suicide, but not before hiding his puppets in the hotel’s walls.

In present time, four psychics are invited to the Bodega Bay Inn by their mutual acquaintance Neil Gallagher. When they arrive, the hotel is closed and Neil’s wife informs them that Neil recently committed suicide. The psychics are shown to their rooms, and each investigates the hotel to unravel the mystery of Neil’s invitation. Meanwhile, they are hunted by a killer gang of Toulon’s living puppets. It turns out that Neil moved into the hotel to find Toulon’s magic spell. Upon recovering it, he killed himself and used the spell to return to life in an immortal body. The invitation to his old acquaintances was a trap to kill them. In the end, Neil’s immortal body fails and he is killed by the puppets that he controlled and abused.

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The Curse of the Aztec Mummy

February 11, 2018 at 2:16 am (4 Heads, Curse of the Aztec Mummy) (, , , , )

The Curse of the Aztec Mummy – 1957 – Mexico

The Curse of the Aztec Mummy picks up shortly after The Aztec Mummy (1957) ends. The Bat, a criminal mastermind, escapes police custody with help from his gangster cronies Lilac and Bear. Once again, he is on a mission to steal priceless Aztec artifacts. His plan involves kidnapping and hypnotizing a reincarnated Aztec priestess. During her past life regression, she leads The Bat to cursed riches hidden in an Aztec temple. Working against The Bat’s plan is a scientist, a kid, a luchador named The Angel, and, of course, the murderous Aztec Mummy. In the end, the Aztec Mummy kills The Bat and his gang and stalks off into the countryside.

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I Hate You

February 7, 2018 at 12:54 am (5 Heads, I Hate You) (, , )

I Hate You – 2004 – United States

Norman is a struggling New York comedian who makes jokes about killing people. In one bit, he says, “Every creature on this planet must kill something else to survive.” Following that, he lists the thousands of animals he has eaten in his lifetime. In another bit, he says, “More books have been written about Jack the Ripper than all of the U.S. presidents combined.” Norman starts to realize that he could be more famous as a serial killer than as a comedian. He begins killing random people, mostly by beating them with a cane. To justify his murders, he says, “Every society needs an enemy.” He continues his morbid comedy act, but no one thinks it’s funny, and Norman is fired from the nightclub where he performs. Later, he has a heart attack but survives. Then the movie abruptly ends without any real resolution.

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Metamorphosis

February 7, 2018 at 12:50 am (5 Heads, Metamorphosis) (, , , , )

Metamorphosis – United States – 1990

Dr. Peter Houseman is an arrogant and extremely handsome college professor. During his experiments to develop an immortality serum, his funding is cut by university bureaucrats. In desperation, Peter experiments on himself. His serum works, but with the unfortunate side effect that Peter begins devolving into a reptile. You see, our human DNA contains “racial memories” of our various evolutionary phases. In one of these phases, we were reptiles. The whole thing doesn’t make much sense. In any case, Peter goes crazy and eventually transforms into a homicidal miniature T. Rex.

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Double Agent 73

January 15, 2018 at 3:37 am (5 Heads, Double Agent 73) (, , , , , )

Double Agent 73 – 1974 – United States

Double Agent 73 is the second of two films directed by Doris Wishman and starring Israeli stripper Chesty Morgan. The first is Deadly Weapons (1974).

Jane (code name Agent 73) is a spy with a camera and a time bomb implanted in her abnormally huge breasts. Her mission is to assassinate a ring of heroin smugglers. She blows one up with a lipstick grenade. She kills another by flinging her earring into his jugular. She asphyxiates a dude by stuffing ice cubes into his mouth. In the craziest bit, she coats her breasts with poison. As she has sex with her target, he sucks on her breasts and dies. After each assassination, she squeezes her breast to photograph the corpse with her hidden camera. Eventually, it is revealed that Jane’s boyfriend is the leader of the heroin ring. Jane shoots him.

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Deadly Weapons

January 15, 2018 at 3:30 am (5 Heads, Deadly Weapons) (, , , , , , , )

Deadly Weapons – 1974 – United States

Deadly Weapons stars a stripper from Israel named Chesty Morgan. You can probably guess that she has large breasts. However, you probably wouldn’t guess how absurdly huge these breasts actually are. Apparently they are all natural and “the largest on record for a film star”. Their shocking size cannot be overstated.

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Death Rage

December 11, 2017 at 12:38 am (5 Heads, Death Rage) (, , , , , )

Death Rage – Italy – 1976

Peter Marciani is a New York hitman who comes out of retirement for one last job. On a mission to assassinate the mobster who killed his brother, Peter travels to to Naples, Italy. There he joins forces with a small time crook and shacks up with a stripper. In pursuit of his target, Peter kills various mobsters and has hallucinatory visions of his brother’s death. To stop the visions, he visits an optometrist and insists on a prescription for eye drops. The doctor gives Peter the drops, even though the hallucinations are obviously psychotic in nature. Eventually, Peter gets revenge by sniping his brother’s killer, but is killed in the resulting shootout.

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