Something Weird

September 14, 2017 at 11:44 pm (5 Heads, Something Weird) (, , )

Something Weird – 1967 – United States

Cronin Mitchel is electrocuted by a downed power line. The nearly fatal injury leaves his face badly scarred, but also gives him ESP. As he recuperates, he becomes cynical and cruel. He pursues a career as a masked fortune teller until he is visited by an ugly old witch. She offers to heal his scarred face if Cronin becomes her lover. He hesitantly agrees.

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Kimera

September 14, 2017 at 11:13 pm (5 Heads, Kimera) (, , , , , )

Kimera – 1997 – Japan

Three pod-like spaceships crash in an isolated forest in America. Scientists capture one of the three pod-people. She is Kimera—an androgynous, green-haired, hermaphroditic, nymphomaniac vampire. She can breed with creatures of any gender or species. An ancient alien legend claims that her children will destroy mankind. The other two pod-people are also freakish vampire mutants. One wants to destroy Kimera and save mankind. The other wants to save Kimera and destroy them. Caught in the conflict is a young Japanese man who falls in love with Kimera. The plot climaxes in a bloody showdown inside a church. There are tentacles, cocoons, and giant snakes all over the place, plus an alien gray. In the end, the Japanese man spares Kimera, and they drive into the sunset. He says: “Kimera, I know what you feel for me isn’t love as I know it, but my love for you is real even if the cost is my own soul.” That’s a surprisingly strong sentiment, especially since Kimera never says a word the whole movie.

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The Vampires Night Orgy

September 4, 2017 at 11:27 pm (5 Heads, Vampires Night Orgy) (, , , , , )

The Vampires Night Orgy – 1973 – Spain/Italy

A bus full of travelers gets stranded in the rustic mountain village of Tolnio (in Spain). The village’s inhabitants are a strange lot. There is a beautiful countess who loves Shakespeare, the village’s charismatic mayor whom everyone calls The Major, and a giant axe-wielding man with an Afro. They treat their guests well by letting them stay for free, giving them money, and cooking them a sumptuous feast of human flesh. You see, the villagers are actually vampires. One by one, they convert the travelers to vampirism. One couple manages to escape, but when they return with the police, the village has disappeared.

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Zombie Bloodbath 3: Zombie Armageddon

September 4, 2017 at 11:21 pm (4 Heads, Zombie Bloodbath 3) (, , , , )

Zombie Bloodbath 3: Zombie Armageddon – 2000 – United States

In the future, the U.S. military creates an army of zombies to stop some alien invaders. When the war is over, the military can’t kill the zombies so they cram them on a shuttle and fire them into space. The shuttle gets sucked into a black hole and time travels to present day. Somehow, it ends up in the basement of a high school. The zombies break out and a group of students get trapped in the school. With the help of two martial artists, they fight off the zombie horde plus a cyborg that looks like a professional wrestler. Almost everyone dies.

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Feeders 2: Slay Bells

September 4, 2017 at 11:07 pm (4 Heads, Feeders 2: Slay Bells) (, , , )

Feeders 2: Slay Bells – 1998 – United States

Tiny alien grays invade Earth in flying saucers. They oink like pigs and try to eat everyone. On Christmas day, a regular dad teams up with Santa Claus to destroy the aliens. Thankfully, the aliens are almost completely helpless. They can’t open doors and often run into walls. Santa kills them with a laser gun and an explosive present. The dad is shocked to discover that Santa is real—or was it all dream?

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The Demon

August 13, 2017 at 6:42 pm (4 Heads, Demon, The) (, , , )

The Demon – 1979 – South Africa

A psychotic killer with a mask (sometimes) and clawed gloves kills people by wrapping plastic bags around their heads. He stalks two beautiful young school teachers who like meditating and going out with guys. On the killer’s trail is a psychic detective. The detective doesn’t do anything and is arbitrarily killed early in the film—and not even by the killer. In the end, the killer chases one of the teachers around a house. The teacher gets naked for this part. She eventually defeats the killer with a Home Alone-style trap. She puts slippery soap on the floor, sprays her attacker with scalding water, and stabs him in the throat.

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Haunts

August 13, 2017 at 6:37 pm (5 Heads, Haunts) (, , , , )

Haunts – 1977 – United States

Haunts takes place in a small mountain town where there is nothing to do but gossip, go to church, and drive around drunk. A maniac in a ski mask starts raping women and stabbing them with scissors. Ingrid is a Swedish woman who lives on an isolated farm. She believes the maniac has a vendetta against her and suspects every man in town at one point or another. As the plot progresses, evidence suggests that Ingrid might be delusional. She has traumatic childhood memories of being sexually abused and witnessing the death of her mother. In the present day, many of the characters she interacts with might be figments of her imagination. As the maniac closes in on Ingrid, it becomes less and less clear if there is a maniac at all. By the film’s ending, fantasy and reality have been thoroughly blended and nothing makes much sense.

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Dark Cat

August 13, 2017 at 6:34 pm (3 Heads, Dark Cat) (, , , , )

Dark Cat – Japan – 1991

Teenagers Hyoi and Ryoi are sibling “Dark Cats”—cat shapeshifters with spiritual magic. After transferring to a new high school, the Dark Cats sense an evil presence. Their old master (an ogre-like Dark Cat) has turned bad and is using the negative energy of teenage emotions to transform students into monsters. A young girl, depressed by her unrequited love, becomes an amorphous mass of writhing eyeball-studded tendrils. Hyoi and Ryoi use their magic and martial arts to destroy her.

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The Rapist

August 6, 2017 at 9:19 pm (7 Heads, Rapist) (, , , )

The Rapist – 1994 – Hong Kong

The Rapist is about a serial rapist who prowls the halls of a low-rent apartment complex. A police detective tries to track him down. Cat-and-mouse games ensue. The detective taunts the rapist in television broadcasts, and sets traps for him using an undercover policewoman as bait. Eventually, the rapist is caught when he falls in love with a victim and invites her on a date. She agrees and tips off the police.

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Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01

August 6, 2017 at 9:18 pm (4 Heads, Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01) (, , , , )

Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01 – 1987 – Japan

Here’s the plot of Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01: A military truck gets into a car accident while transporting a prototype combat mecha. The mecha ends up in the hands of a mechanic who doesn’t bother to read the manual. He accidentally gets stuck inside and decides to joyride around and go surprise his girlfriend. The military dispatches a robotic tank to track down the mecha. The tank’s driver is a crazy guy who hates mecha, loves tanks, and has a big chip on his shoulder. While firing the tank’s gun, he licks his slobbery lips and proclaims, “This scent—this taste—war is heaven!” The mecha and the tank duel to the death inside a high-rise.

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