Something Weird

September 14, 2017 at 11:44 pm (5 Heads, Something Weird) (, , )

Something Weird – 1967 – United States

Cronin Mitchel is electrocuted by a downed power line. The nearly fatal injury leaves his face badly scarred, but also gives him ESP. As he recuperates, he becomes cynical and cruel. He pursues a career as a masked fortune teller until he is visited by an ugly old witch. She offers to heal his scarred face if Cronin becomes her lover. He hesitantly agrees.

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Kimera

September 14, 2017 at 11:13 pm (5 Heads, Kimera) (, , , , , )

Kimera – 1997 – Japan

Three pod-like spaceships crash in an isolated forest in America. Scientists capture one of the three pod-people. She is Kimera—an androgynous, green-haired, hermaphroditic, nymphomaniac vampire. She can breed with creatures of any gender or species. An ancient alien legend claims that her children will destroy mankind. The other two pod-people are also freakish vampire mutants. One wants to destroy Kimera and save mankind. The other wants to save Kimera and destroy them. Caught in the conflict is a young Japanese man who falls in love with Kimera. The plot climaxes in a bloody showdown inside a church. There are tentacles, cocoons, and giant snakes all over the place, plus an alien gray. In the end, the Japanese man spares Kimera, and they drive into the sunset. He says: “Kimera, I know what you feel for me isn’t love as I know it, but my love for you is real even if the cost is my own soul.” That’s a surprisingly strong sentiment, especially since Kimera never says a word the whole movie.

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The Vampires Night Orgy

September 4, 2017 at 11:27 pm (5 Heads, Vampires Night Orgy) (, , , , , )

The Vampires Night Orgy – 1973 – Spain/Italy

A bus full of travelers gets stranded in the rustic mountain village of Tolnio (in Spain). The village’s inhabitants are a strange lot. There is a beautiful countess who loves Shakespeare, the village’s charismatic mayor whom everyone calls The Major, and a giant axe-wielding man with an Afro. They treat their guests well by letting them stay for free, giving them money, and cooking them a sumptuous feast of human flesh. You see, the villagers are actually vampires. One by one, they convert the travelers to vampirism. One couple manages to escape, but when they return with the police, the village has disappeared.

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Haunts

August 13, 2017 at 6:37 pm (5 Heads, Haunts) (, , , , )

Haunts – 1977 – United States

Haunts takes place in a small mountain town where there is nothing to do but gossip, go to church, and drive around drunk. A maniac in a ski mask starts raping women and stabbing them with scissors. Ingrid is a Swedish woman who lives on an isolated farm. She believes the maniac has a vendetta against her and suspects every man in town at one point or another. As the plot progresses, evidence suggests that Ingrid might be delusional. She has traumatic childhood memories of being sexually abused and witnessing the death of her mother. In the present day, many of the characters she interacts with might be figments of her imagination. As the maniac closes in on Ingrid, it becomes less and less clear if there is a maniac at all. By the film’s ending, fantasy and reality have been thoroughly blended and nothing makes much sense.

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Dragon Princess

July 31, 2017 at 12:36 am (5 Heads, Dragon Princess) (, , , , , )

Dragon Princess – 1976 – Japan

Kazuma (played by Sonny Chiba) is a karate instructor in Tokyo. Assassins, hired by a rival instructor, attack Kazuma in front of his young daughter, Yumi. He survives with a crippled arm and a missing eye, but flees Japan to protect Yumi. Living in a seedy Manhattan apartment (these probably don’t exist in real life), Kazuma is a drunk who only cares about getting revenge and training Yumi in karate. He berates her, beats her, and makes her stand in the snow with bare feet. When Yumi writes in her diary, “I hope I never hear the word ‘karate’ again!”, Kazuma is somehow surprised.

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The Terror

July 31, 2017 at 12:29 am (5 Heads, Terror, The) (, , , , , , , , )

The Terror – 1963 – United States

1806: A French army officer named Andre is separated from his regiment. Wandering France’s coastal wilderness, he encounters a beautiful woman named Helene. She mysteriously vanishes and he scours the countryside for her. Entering an old witch’s secluded hut, Andre asks about Helene. The witch suspiciously denies the mysterious woman’s existence. Later, Andre comes upon the decrepit castle of Baron von Leppe. The melancholy baron knows of Helene and believes she is the ghost of his wife. He regretfully describes how he killed her after a jealous tiff twenty years ago. Andre, obsessed with Helene, refuses to believe she is dead. Despite the witch’s and baron’s efforts to stop him, he investigates further and uncovers the dark history of Castle von Leppe. By the film’s end, the castle is destroyed in a flood, the baron drowns, the witch is struck by lightning, and Helene’s face melts off.

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Legend of the Blue Wolves

June 12, 2017 at 12:34 am (5 Heads, Legend of the Blue Wolves) (, , , , , , )

Legend of the Blue Wolves – 1996 – Japan

In the year 2199, mankind has colonized the solar system. Using powered armor suits, they wage war against robotic alien invaders called the Apocalypse. Jonathan Tyberius and Leonard Schteinberg are mecha pilots and roommates on a military space station. When Jonathan is raped by his abusive (and morbidly obese) commanding officer, Leonard rescues him and castrates the rapist. Afterward, the two form a close bond which becomes a romance. Eventually, Leonard is sent on a mission and never returns, and Jonathan later encounters him on the battlefield. Leonard’s body has been absorbed into one of the invader’s biomechanical war machines and Jonathan must destroy it.

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Burning Dead

April 30, 2017 at 10:15 pm (5 Heads, Burning Dead) (, , )

Burning Dead – 2004 – United States

Jim returns to his hometown fifteen years after its destruction in a catastrophic fire. Although his memories are hazy, since that day, Jim has been haunted by horrific dreams. He is so disturbed that he can’t hold a job, meet a girlfriend, or stay in one place. To confront his fears, Jim drifts about his hometown, visiting people and places he once knew. His memory of the traumatic night slowly returns, and he suffers hallucinations of walking incinerated corpses. It turns out, as a boy, Jim was apprenticed to a Satanic priest. When the priest ordered Jim to sacrifice his sweetheart, Jim refused and lit the priest on fire, leading (improbably) to the town’s fiery destruction. Now, to put the burning dead to rest, Jim confronts his dark past and reunites with his lost sweetheart.

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Devil Times Five

January 16, 2017 at 11:13 pm (5 Heads, Devil Times Five) (, , , )

Devil Times Five – 1974 – United States

Five psychotic kids escape a children’s psychiatric ward during a blizzard. They travel through the mountains on foot and reach a snowbound mansion. Pretending to be survivors of a car crash, they ingratiate themselves with the mansion’s adult occupants. The adults try to get help for the kids, but the phones are down and the roads are closed. As days pass, the adults suspect there might be more to these kids than meets the eye. Around this time, the kids begin murdering everyone with homemade weapons and traps.

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Prince of Space

November 22, 2016 at 1:34 am (5 Heads, Prince of Space) (, , , )

Prince of Space – 1959 – Japan

Dictator Phantom from the planet Krankor plots to take over Earth. Against death rays, caustic gas, and a tank that tunnels underground, Earth’s military has no chance. A shoeshine boy (and foster father of two orphans) transforms into the superheroic Prince of Space. With his laser wand and flying saucer, Prince defeats Phantom and saves the day.

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