Candy Von Dewd

May 9, 2015 at 3:41 pm (5 Heads, Candy Von Dewd) (, , , )

Candy Von Dewd – 2002 – United States

In the future, “Testicles are shrinking. Sperm count is negative.” Mankind inexplicably becomes impotent, so astronauts wander the stars looking for sexually compatible aliens to bear children. They reach a planet where Amazons (called “Zons”) dance erotically in clingy vinyl outfits. The astronauts take drugs (actually Sour Patch Kids) that make them fertile but kill them after sex. The astronauts copulate with the Zons. However, since the Zons do not have wombs, the astronauts die pointlessly. The lone surviving astronaut finds a monstrous plant to screw, hopefully impregnating it. Since you are probably wondering, Candy Von Dewd is the name of a lady secret agent who wears outrageous sexy clothes and recites her cheery lines with a British accent. Her role is mostly irrelevant.

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