Battle Star Wars – 2020 – United States
Battle Star Wars is a low-budget clone of Star Wars, but you probably already guessed that. In the space opera future, the tyrannical Coalition seeks to destroy the secret rebel planet of Haven. Protecting Haven is a space pirate, a barbarian clone, the rebellious daughter of a Coalition commander, and a robot who might be a hologram. Oh yeah, I almost forgot—there’s also a Paladin, which is basically a Jedi. This stoic warrior comes from an ancient tradition of stoic warriors. He has an energy shield and a Scottish accent, and he can fly through space like Superman.
Battle Star Wars is exactly what you would expect. It’s like Star Wars, but shoddier and with a lot less spectacle. Its references to Star Wars are numerous. There’s Force choking, a spaceship that looks like a Star Destroyer, and a holographic distress beacon that’s remarkably similar to Princess Leia’s recording of “Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi. You’re my only hope.” Of course, everything is a little worse than Star Wars. Most of the movie takes place in a few dingy spaceship interiors, and there aren’t any cool alien or robot costumes. That said, as far as low-budget movies go, Battle Star Wars is passable. The story is coherent. The computer-generated effects are fine (if a little unimaginative). The acting is entertaining if you don’t mind some scenery chewing. I also like that most of the heroes are women, although I wish they didn’t all wear shirts that showed their midriffs.
Battle Star Wars is the kind of movie that critical people hate. It’s cheap, derivative, and an obvious cash-in on a trend. But Battle Star Wars accomplishes what it set out to do, delivering somewhat Star Wars-like thrills on a fraction of the budget, and I can’t hate it for that.
Rating: 5/10 Shrunken Heads
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