Robot Wars – 1993 – United States
Tubi is streaming tons of Full Moon movies for free. I’m so happy I could cry.
Robot Wars is not a very prestigious entry in Full Moon Features’ already not very prestigious catalog. In a vaguely post-apocalyptic future, the United States has fractured into a bunch of independent governments. One government owns a giant robotic vehicle that looks like a scorpion and has a totally powerful laser in its tail. Apparently, this robot is very old and very awesome so a competing government steals it. On a mission to recover the stolen robot, a hotshot pilot finds an equally old and awesome robot and pilots it to battle the scorpion robot into submission.
Maybe Robot Wars has slightly more plot than I’m letting on. The hotshot pilot, Marion Drake, defies his morally bankrupt boss and falls in love with a spunky scientist. The characters also tour an “authentic re-creation of a 1990s town”. However, Robot Wars’ story and characters are dumb, especially Marion Drake who yells too much, makes too many stupid jokes, and is totally condescending and sexist all the time. At one point, he makes a toast to Jackie Gleason, “the greatest man that ever lived”.
For being a low-budget Full Moon movie, Robot Wars is technically admirable. The sets and costumes look reasonably okay, and the stop motion animated robots are totally sweet. The title Robot Wars is a bit of a misnomer though. There are only two robots. It’s really more like a duel than a war.
Rating: 6/10 Shrunken Heads
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