Golgo 13: The Professional

May 21, 2017 at 6:26 pm (8 Heads, Golgo 13: The Professional) (, , , , , )

Golgo 13: The Professional – 1983 – Japan

Golgo 13 is a legendary hitman with a perfect track record. Leonard Dawson is a Texas oil baron who targets Golgo 13 after he assassinates Dawson’s son. To do the job, Dawson hires the FBI, the CIA, the Pentagon, and some demented assassins named Snake, Gold, and Silver. He wants Golgo 13 dead even if he must “destroy a few cities in the process”. He instructs his assassins, “Rip out [Golgo 13’s] brains and throw them on the floor!” While thwarting these killers, Golgo 13 travels to Sicily, San Francisco, and the Amazon. At various points, he is hired by a priest to kill a Mafia don, and a concentration camp survivor to kill an ex-Nazi. In the end, it is revealed that Dawson’s dead son himself hired Golgo 13 as an act of suicide. Dawson despondently leaps from a window, splattering gorily on the ground.

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Highlander: The Search for Vengeance

January 5, 2017 at 2:49 am (6 Heads, Highlander: Search for Vengeance, Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Highlander: The Search for Vengeance – 2007 – Japan/United States

During the Roman invasion of Britain in the 1st century AD, a Briton named Colin becomes immortal after imbibing a magic potion. He no longer ages and cannot be killed except by decapitation. When the Roman general Marcus Octavius (also an immortal) kills Colin’s wife, Colin begins a campaign of vengeance lasting two thousand years. Marcus resurfaces in various historical epochs as an authoritarian leader, and Colin unsuccessfully tries to kill him each time. They duel as samurai in medieval Japan, and dogfight in planes during World War II. Eventually, Colin encounters Marcus again in post-apocalyptic New York in the year 2187 AD. Marcus has become ruler of a high-tech enclave and Colin leads a group of guerilla fighters to destroy him. Colin finally manages to kill him, but only after falling in love and realizing the pointlessness of revenge.

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Five Elements Ninjas

November 29, 2016 at 4:03 am (7 Heads, Five Element Ninja) (, , , , , )

Five Elements Ninjas – 1982 – Hong Kong

A Chinese martial arts school is destroyed by Japanese ninjas. The lone survivor of the massacre learns ninjutsu and abandons his honor to get revenge. That is the whole plot.

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Scarlet Fry’s Junkfood Horrorfest

May 31, 2016 at 12:06 am (1 Head, Scarlet Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest) (, , , , , )

Scarlet Fry’s Junkfood Horrorfest – 2007 – United States

Scarlet Fry’s Junkfood Horrorfest is a horror anthology hosted by a hillbilly zombie who makes stupid jokes and chains women to a tree. In the prologue, a desperate junkie beats her dealer to death with a tire iron. She is upset because her dealer gave her a VHS tape of Junkfood Horrorfest instead of drugs. I kind of understand how she feels.

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Dead is Dead

March 18, 2016 at 3:39 am (3 Heads, Dead is Dead) (, , , )

Dead is Dead – 1992 – United States

While wandering the site of burned down hospital, a junkie gets his arm torn off by a zombie-like monster. A nurse, also wandering the area, gives the junkie an experimental drug called Doxitol. The drug regrows his arm and makes him unkillable. The junkie sells the Doxitol to a drug dealer but gets ripped off. The junkie then sets out to recover the Doxitol and get revenge.

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Crippled Avengers

January 18, 2016 at 1:57 am (9 Heads, Crippled Avengers) (, , , , , )

Crippled Avengers – 1978 – Hong Kong

Thugs invade a nobleman’s house and sever his son’s arms. Following the incident, the nobleman outfits his son with mechanical arms and trains him in martial arts. When the training is complete, the sadistic nobleman captures the thugs’ sons, and lets his son cripple each of them. All of this occurs in Crippled Avengers’ first five minutes.

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The Brainiac (El barón del terror)

October 27, 2015 at 2:31 am (3 Heads, Brainiac, The) (, , , , )

The Brainiac – 1962 – Mexico

Mexico City 1661, a sorcerous baron is burned alive by the Inquisition. As a comet flies past, he curses those who condemned him. When the comet returns in three hundred years, the baron will have his revenge. In 1961, the comet lands in Mexico City. The baron steps out to begin a murderous campaign on the inquisitors’ descendents. He uses magic to turn invisible and hypnotically seduce ladies. Also, for some reason, he transforms into a hairy bat-like monster with a bulging head. With his forked prehensile tongue, he drills through his victims’ skulls and sucks out their brains.

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Kite

February 17, 2015 at 12:57 am (5 Heads, Kite) (, , , , )

Kite – 1999 – Japan

Sawa is an orphaned schoolgirl turned indentured assassin. She is deceived by a mysterious criminal organization to believe her targets are pedophiles, crooks, and other seedy people. In actuality, she kills anyone who threatens the organization’s enigmatic operations. When Sawa is ordered to kill another young assassin whom she is emotionally involved with, she rebels and exacts revenge on her boss.

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Surf Nazis Must Die

December 10, 2014 at 1:52 am (9 Heads, Surf Nazis Must Die) (, , , , , , )

Surf Nazis Must Die – 1987 – United States

In the “near future”, California is decimated by a massive earthquake. In the ensuing anarchy, the bloodthirsty Surf Nazis rumble other gangs of surfers for control of Power Beach. After the Surf Nazis kill an African American man, his elderly mother, Mama Washington, escapes her nursing home to exact revenge. With a pistol and grenades, she kills all the Surf Nazis and rides off on her motorcycle laughing.

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The Black Klansman

June 10, 2014 at 2:34 am (6 Heads, Black Klansman) (, , , )

The Black Klansman – 1966 – United States

After a Ku Klux Klan member kills his daughter, a light-skinned African American poses as a Caucasian to infiltrate the Klan and find the murderer. The Black Klansman is set in the South, shortly after the Civil Rights Act of 1964. Issues of race are discussed with some sincerity. In a poignant scene, a black man refuses to marry his white girlfriend since he worries their mixed children will suffer prejudice. The film also muses about violence in a somewhat objective way. The oppressed blacks hire a gangster to help wage war on the Klan, but are ultimately disturbed by his brutal methods. In the climax, the main character faces a similar moral dilemma when he is finally able to avenge his daughter, but is unsure if he wants to pull the trigger.

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