I Dream of Dracula

January 23, 2017 at 1:07 am (4 Heads, I Dream of Dracula) (, , , )

I Dream of Dracula – 2003 – United States

Priscilla has recurring dreams about being a vampire. She does some research and discovers that she is descended from a long line of vampires. She also learns that vampires are not undead humans, but their own species. It turns out that all the myths are wrong. Vampires can go out in sunlight, eat real food, and see their reflection. They only drink blood because they like to.

Meanwhile, Priscilla’s husband is having an affair with her psychiatrist. The lovers plan to convince Priscilla she is crazy, commit her to an institution, and steal her money. Priscilla discovers the plot and kills them. Also wandering around town are lesbian goth vampires that love to take their clothes off. They worship Satan and try to control Priscilla. She kills them too.

I Dream of Dracula is a pretty stupid movie. At least it doesn’t take itself too seriously. The cartoonish characters are always whining, nagging, and yelling at each other, and all the women get naked. The goth vampires show frontal nudity and make out as Satan watches. They both have tramp stamps. The dialogue is really wacky, especially from Priscilla’s husband who wears a ridiculous wig and a dollar sign medallion. In one lengthy scene, he admires himself in a mirror, adjusting his wig while giving a monologue about how awesome he is. In another scene, a woman breaks up with her boyfriend for balling her entire family, including her dad.

The music is really cheesy. There is graphic puking.

Rating: 4/10 Shrunken Heads. On his shelf, one character has a VHS tape with a handwritten label reading, “Paula Cole”. Aside from the music video for “Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?”, what might be on that tape?

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