Horror House on Highway 5

February 9, 2014 at 3:34 am (1 Head, Horror House on Highway 5) (, , , , )

Horror House on Highway 5 – 1985 – United States

College students smoke pot and launch model rockets under the pretense of writing a paper on the Nazi creator of the V-2 rocket. While researching, the students are kidnapped by the scientist’s brain damaged sons and sacrificed in black magic rituals. Meanwhile, the scientist himself dons a Richard Nixon mask and goes on a killing spree.

Horror House on Highway 5 is an amateur effort shot on video. It is promisingly crazy. One of the villains, named Dr. Mabuse, rants about bugs devouring his brain. His imbecilic brother just wants to fall in love. Their house has Nazi-themed pornography on the walls. Murders are committed with a rake, clothing iron, and hand cranking drill. Even after the madness seems to have abated, the lone surviving student is picked up on the highway by a molester in a van who awkwardly offers her hot chocolate and blankets repeatedly. In other words, this flick knows few bounds.

Unfortunately, Horror House is also stupid, boring, and irritating. The rambling plot lacks logic and coherency. The effects are nonexistent. The locations are either empty fields or hallways. And the acting is actually annoying. Why does everyone behave as if mentally handicapped? Horror House is probably a farce, but its attempts at wackiness and irony are irksome. If you are not in a meditative mindset, watching ninety minutes of this lazy homemade crap is very difficult.

Other than one grating violin piece, at least the soundtrack is cool. The surf rock covers (including tunes by The Ventures and The Chantays) vary in quality but are fun to listen to, and their inappropriate placement is occasionally hilarious. But that cannot save Horror House. Like many terrible movies, it has inspired a cult following it does not deserve. Its lunacy needs more energy and sincerity.

Rating: 1/10 Shrunken Heads. On the Timeless Media Group DVD box is a kind sentence by “Matt Serafini in Geocities”. Maybe someday I too will be quoted somewhere.

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